Wednesday, December 26, 2007

grace.

meaning it when you look your best friend in the eyes and telling him you are happy for him and you will stand up for him at his wedding while you can barely breathe because your heart has shattered, creating potentially fatal puncture wounds to your lungs

Thursday, December 20, 2007

when enough is enough.

things are grand in my world. i start my TEFL on-line course in January with an eight week internship in Mexico when I leave in September. Still not sure where I'm headed after that as I've decided against Panama. Maybe Ecuador? Maybe six months or so in Mexico first? Maybe Uruguay? Hard to say still.
But it's enough to know that I'll be going somewhere. Enough to make my job worth it. Enough to not get stressed about small stuff. Enough to take the opportunities to love my friends. Enough to have the energy to hang out with people when I'm feeling pooped. Enough to not spend my money on frivolous stuff. Enough to tell people "no christmas present exchange with me this year please". Enough to not feel discouraged by a life that feels boring and mundane. Enough that I don't throw my hands up to the universe anymore and ask "What else? What else can I do?" Enough to appreciate tremendously the support system I have built here. Enough to get me to mandolin lessons once a week so that I can take it with me and feel like I can at least play a little. Enough to feel braver about putting stuff out there with people that is scary and hard.

Right now I live in a world called "enough".
And, as it turns out,
that is
enough.